


The Rapture (4.20)

by ackles_ass_equation



Series: Superghetto [80]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel Banishing Sigil, Bobby's Panic Room, Dean's Amulet, Demon Blood, Demonology, Electronic Voice Phenomenon, F/M, Possession, Ruby's Knife, Singer Salvage Yard, Vessel, angel lore, bobby's hats, gank, smiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-08
Updated: 2016-12-08
Packaged: 2018-09-07 08:55:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8791411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ackles_ass_equation/pseuds/ackles_ass_equation
Summary: Dean has a thugged-out trip bout Castiel askin ta hook up his ass up in private. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sam n' Dean is shocked ta discover Castielz human host, Jimmy, is back up in control. Jizzy wants his wild lil' freakadelic game back but Sam n' Dean believe he is up in danger.





	1. Now

EXT. PIER- DAY

DEAN is fishin all up in tha end of a pier n' shit. CASTIEL appears.   
  
**CASTIEL  
** We need ta talk.   
  
**DEAN  
** I be trippin, aren't I?   
  
**CASTIEL  
** It aint nuthin but not safe here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Someplace mo' private.   
  
**DEAN  
** Mo' private, biatch? We inside mah head.   
  
**CASTIEL  
** Exactly. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Someone could be listening.   
  
**DEAN  
** Cas, whatz wrong?   
  
**CASTIEL  
** Meet me here.   
  
CAS handz DEAN a piece of paper.   
  
**CASTIEL (CONT'D)**  
Go now, nahmeean?   
  
DEAN looks up n' CASTIEL is gone from tha pier.   


  
INT. MOTEL ROOM- NIGHT

DEAN wakes up wit a gasp.   


  
INT. WAREHOUSE- SAME NIGHT

DEAN n' SAM strutt all up in tha warehouse, flashlights on.   
  
**SAM  
** Well, what tha fuck did da perved-out muthafucka say, Dean, biatch? What was so blingin?   
  
**DEAN  
** If I knew, would I be here?   
  
DEAN n' SAM ascend a set of stairs.   
  
**DEAN (CONT'D)  
** What tha hell?   
  
**SAM  
** It be lookin like a funky-ass bomb went off.   
  
**DEAN  
** There was a gangbangin' fight here.   
  
**SAM  
** Between who?   
  
DEANz flashlight beam landz on a symbol painted up in blood on tha wall.   
  
**DEAN  
** Peep it out. Look familiar?   
  
**SAM  
** Yeah, it do.   
  
**DEAN  
** Anna used suttin' like dat ta wish tha angels back ta tha cornfield.   
  
**SAM  
** So, what, biatch? Cas was fightin angels?   
  
**DEAN  
** I don't give a gangbangin' fuck.   
  
DEAN findz CASTIEL up in tha rubble.   
  
**DEAN (CONT'D)  
** Sam. Cas, biatch? Cas. Yo, Cas?   
  
**JIMMY  
** Whatz . . . , biatch? Whatz . . . , biatch? Whatz goin on?   
  
**DEAN  
** Just take it easy as fuck . Take it easy as fuck .   
  
**JIMMY  
** Oh. No.   
  
**SAM  
** Cas, you aiiight?   
  
**JIMMY  
** Ugh. Castiel. I aint Castiel. It aint nuthin but mah dirty ass.   
  
**SAM  
** Whoz 'me'?   
  
**JIMMY  
** Jizzy yo. Hoes call me Jimmy.   
  
**DEAN  
** Where tha hell is Castiel?   
  
**JIMMY**  
Dat punk gone.

 


	2. Act One

INT. MOTEL ROOM- NIGHT

JIMMY sits at a table n' devours a hamburger while DEAN n' SAM watch.   
  
**JIMMY  
** Mmm.   
  
**DEAN  
** Yo ass mind slowin down, biatch? Yo ass is gonna give me angina.   
  
**JIMMY  
** I be hungry.   
  
**SAM  
** Whenz tha last time you ate?   
  
**JIMMY  
** I don't give a gangbangin' fuck. Months.   
  
JIMMY takes another bite of his hamburger n' then continues ta smoke ravenously.   
  
**JIMMY  
** Mmm. Mmm. Mmm!   
  
**SAM  
** What tha hell happened back there, biatch? It looked like a angel battle royale.   
  
**JIMMY  
** All I remember be a gangbangin' flash of light n' I, uh . . . I raised up n' I was just, you know, like, me again.   
  
**DEAN  
** So, what, biatch? Cas just ditched outta yo' meat suit?   
  
**JIMMY  
** I straight-up don't give a gangbangin' fuck.   
  
**SAM  
** Yo ass remember anythang bout bein possessed, biatch? Anythang at all?   
  
**JIMMY  
** Yeah, bits n' pieces. I mean, angel inside of you, itz kinda like bein chained ta a cold-ass lil comet.   
  
**DEAN  
** Ah, dat don't sound like much fun.   
  
**JIMMY  
** Understatement.   
  
**SAM  
** Cas holla'd da thug wanted ta tell our asses something. Please tell me you remember that.   
  
**JIMMY  
** Sorry.   
  
**DEAN  
** Come on, what tha fuck do you know?   
  
**JIMMY**  
Hoes call me Jizzy Novak. I be from Pontiac, Illinois.

 

  
FLASHBACK- PONTIAC, ILLINOIS- ONE YEAR AGO

INT. JIMMY'S HOUSE, DINING ROOM- NIGHT   
  
**JIMMY (VOICEOVER)  
** I gots a cold-ass lil crew.   
  
JIMMY, AMELIA (his hoe), n' CLAIRE (his daughter) is chillin down ta dinner n' shit. CLAIRE reaches fo' some chicken n' you know I be eatin up dat shizzle all muthafuckin day, biatch.   
  
**JIMMY  
** Claire.   
  
JIMMY, AMELIA, n' CLAIRE join handz n' bow they headz ta say Grace.   
  
**JIMMY  
** Bless dis chicken, oh, Lord, n' ourselves ta thy gangbangin steez dat we may always continue up in thy faith n' fear ta tha honor n' glory of thy name fo' realz. Amen.   
  
**AMELIA n' CLAIRE (TOGETHER)**  
Amen.

 

  
INT. JIMMY'S HOUSE, DEN- SAME NIGHT

JIMMY be asleep up in his thugged-out armchair wit tha TV on a religious channel.   
  
**RELIGIOUS MAN ON TV  
** I could peep mah head stickin up from underneath tha front bumper n' shit. My fuckin eyes was closed, mah head was turned ta tha right side, n' on each side of me be a angel, and, uh-  
  
Da TV goes ta static, wakin JIMMY up yo. Dude stands.   
  
**JIMMY**  
What tha heck?   
  
JIMMY tries ta turn off tha TV yo, but is unsuccessful naaahhmean, biatch? Da sound of tha static becomes high pitched n' JIMMY falls ta his knees n' covers his wild lil' fuckin ears. Eventually, he falls ta tha ground n' suffers convulsions.

 

  
PRESENT DAY

EXT. MOTEL- SAME NIGHT   
  
SAM n' DEAN stand outside.   
  
**SAM  
** So, what tha fuck do our phat asses do?   
  
**DEAN  
** What do you mean, biatch? Da muthafuckaz gots a cold-ass lil crew. We loot his ass a funky-ass bus ticket, bust his ass home.   
  
**SAM  
** I don't give a fuck bout dis shit. Dean, tha pimpin' muthafucka tha only lead we got.   
  
**DEAN  
** Dude don't give a fuck anything.   
  
**SAM  
** Is you 100 cement bout that?   
  
**DEAN  
** Yo ass be thinkin he lying, biatch? What, you wanna go Guantanamo on tha muthafucka?   
  
**SAM  
** Dean, maybe da ruffneck don't even know what tha fuck he knows.   
  
**DEAN  
** Huh?   
  
**SAM  
** I say, at least we git his ass ta Bobby's. Maybe all he needz is hypnotizzle or a psycho. Or hell, maybe Cas will just drop back tha fuck into his muthafuckin ass.   
  
**DEAN  
** I don't give a fuck, man.   
  
**SAM  
** Dean, back there, dat was angel-on-angel shit. Now, I don't give a fuck what tha fuck be happenin yo, but itz big-ass fo' realz. And we can't just let tha only lead we gots just skip out.   
  
DEAN shakes his head.   
  
**SAM  
** What?   
  
**DEAN  
** Yo ass remember when our thang was helpin people, biatch? Like, gettin dem back ta they crews?   
  
**SAM  
** Yo ass be thinkin I don't wanna help him, biatch? I be just bein realistic. I mean, hell, our phat asses bustin his ass a gangbangin' favor.   
  
**DEAN  
** How?   
  
**SAM**  
Dean, if we wanna question tha muthafucka, you can damn well bet tha demons do, like a muthafucka.   
  
DEAN sighs up in defeat.

 

  
INT. MOTEL ROOM- SAME NIGHT

 **JIMMY  
** Da hell is you poppin' off about, I can't bounce back ta tha doggy den?   
  
**DEAN  
** Therez a phat chizzle you gotz a funky-ass bull's-eye on yo' back.   
  
**JIMMY  
** What, biatch? From who?   
  
**DEAN  
** Demons.   
  
**JIMMY  
** Come on, thatz crazy. What do they want wit me son?   
  
**DEAN  
** I don't give a fuck, shiznit, maybe?   
  
**JIMMY  
** I don't give a fuck anything.   
  
**DEAN  
** I know yo, but-  
  
**JIMMY  
** Look, I be done, aiiight, biatch? With demons, angels, all of dat shit. I just wanna bounce back ta tha doggy den.   
  
**DEAN  
** We understand.   
  
**JIMMY  
** I don't be thinkin dat you do understand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I've been blasted n' jabbed n' healed, n' mah body has been dragged all over tha Earth. By some miracle, I be out, n' I be done. Ya Mom shoulda told ya, I given enough, aiiight?   
  
**SAM  
** Look, all we sayin is dat until we figure dis out, tha safest place is wit us.   
  
**JIMMY  
** How tha fuck long?   
  
**SAM  
** We bout ta cross dat bridge when we git ta dat shit.   
  
JIMMY shakes his head n' tries ta move past SAM ta git ta tha door.   
  
**DEAN  
** Where is you going?   
  
**JIMMY  
** To peep mah hoe n' daughter, aiiight?   
  
**SAM  
** Fuck dat shit, you not. Yo ass is just goin ta put dem playas up in danger.   
  
**JIMMY  
** So, what, now I be a prisoner?   
  
**SAM**  
Harsh way ta put dat shit. 

 

  
INT. MOTEL ROOM- LATER THE SAME NIGHT

Yo, sAM looks at JIMMY n' DEAN, both of whom step tha fuck up ta be asleep. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM leaves tha room, n' JIMMY gets up. JIMMY sneaks past DEAN n' leaves tha motel room.

 

 

EXT. MOTEL ROOM- SAME NIGHT

JIMMY leaves tha room unnoticed by SAM, whoz ass standz by a vendin machine. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM opens a gangbangin' flask of blood, pours tha blood up onto his hand, n' licks it up greedily.

 


	3. Act Two

INT. MOTEL ROOM- NEXT MORNING

SAM quickly packs a thugged-out duffle bag while DEAN brushes his cold-ass teeth.   
  
**SAM  
** Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Would you hurry up?   
  
DEAN laughs, toothbrush still up in his crazy-ass grill.   
  
**SAM (CONT'D)  
** Sorry, uh, dis is funky ta yo slick ass?   
  
**DEAN  
** Mista Muthafuckin Big-Bad-Prison-Guard, Jizzy McMook hit you wit tha slip, biatch? Yeah, itz pretty funky. What was you bustin, anyway?   
  
**SAM  
** I was gettin a Coke.   
  
**DEAN  
** Was it a refreshin Coke?   
  
**SAM  
** Can our laid-back asses just go, please?

 

  
INT. BUS- SAME DAY

JIMMY looks up tha window of a funky-ass bus.

 

  
FLASHBACK- ONE YEAR AGO

INT. JIMMY'S HOUSE, KITCHEN- NIGHT

JIMMY is preparin dinner when tha radio goes ta static yo. Dude approaches tha radio n' listens ta tha static. Da scene shifts n' we peep JIMMY wit his hand up in a pot of boilin gin n juice n' shiznit yo. His expression is calm fo' realz. AMELIA comes home holdin paper bags n' drops dem when her big-ass booty sees what tha fuck he is bustin.   
  
**AMELIA  
** What tha hell is you bustin?   
  
**JIMMY  
** It aint nuthin but all gravy. I be aiiight.   
  
**AMELIA  
** Jimmy.   
  
**JIMMY  
** Look.   
  
**AMELIA  
** Whatz wack wit yo slick ass?   
  
**JIMMY  
** Nothingz wrong yo. Dude axed mah crazy ass ta do dat shit.   
  
**AMELIA  
** Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck axed you ta do it?   
  
**JIMMY  
** Castiel, ta prove mah faith. Look. I be fine. It aint nuthin but a miracle.   
  
**AMELIA  
** Whoz Castiel?

 

  
PRESENT DAY

INT. BUS- SAME DAY

JIMMY is still lookin up tha window of a funky-ass bus.

 

  
INT. IMPALA- SAME DAY

DEAN is rollin while SAM sits beside his muthafuckin ass. Neither speaks fo' realz. ANNA suddenly appears up in tha backseat.   
  
**ANNA  
** Yo, muthafuckas.   
  
**DEAN  
** Aah! Jeez.   
  
DEAN jerks tha steerin wheel n' tha IMPALA swerves before he gets it back under control.   
  
**ANNA  
** Smooth.   
  
**DEAN  
** Yo ass eva try callin ahead?   
  
**ANNA  
** I wanna bust a nut on tha element of surprise.   
  
**DEAN  
** Well, you look terrific.   
  
**ANNA  
** Um, yeah, not da most thugged-out appropriate time, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Yo ass let Jizzy git away?   
  
**DEAN  
** Talk ta ginormo here.   
  
**ANNA  
** Sam. Yo ass seem different.   
  
**SAM  
** Me, biatch? I don't give a gangbangin' fuck yo. Heh fo' realz. A haircut?   
  
**ANNA  
** Thatz not what tha fuck I be poppin' off about.   
  
ANNA gives SAM a meaningful look n' he looks away. Then she looks at DEAN.   
  
**ANNA (CONT'D)  
** So, what'd Jizzy tell yo slick ass, biatch? Dude remember anything?   
  
**DEAN  
** Why, biatch? Whatz goin on?   
  
**ANNA  
** It aint nuthin but Cas yo. Dude gots busted back home. Well, mo' like dragged back.   
  
**DEAN  
** To heaven, biatch? Thatz not a phat thang?   
  
**ANNA  
** No. Thatz a straight-up shitty thang. Painfully, awfully bad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude must have seriously pissed one of mah thugs off.   
  
**DEAN  
** Cas holla'd dat schmoooove muthafucka had suttin' ta tell mah dirty ass. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Somethang blingin.   
  
**ANNA  
** What?   
  
**DEAN  
** I don't give a gangbangin' fuck.   
  
**ANNA  
** Do Jizzy know?   
  
**DEAN  
** I don't be thinkin so.   
  
**ANNA  
** Yo ass don't be thinkin so, biatch? Whatever it is, itz huge. Yo ass gotta smoke up fo' sure.   
  
**SAM  
** Thatz why we goin afta Jimmy.   
  
**ANNA  
** Thatz why you shouldn't have let his ass go up in tha straight-up original gangsta place. Dat punk probably dead already. 

 

  
EXT. JIMMY'S HOUSE- DAY

JIMMY approaches his crib yo. Dude sees his fuckin lil' daughter, CLAIRE, all up in tha window hustlin on homework. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch calls over her shoulder, n' AMELIA comes forward ta help her muthafuckin ass.

 

  
FLASHBACK- ONE YEAR AGO

INT. JIMMY'S HOUSE, DEN- NIGHT

JIMMY sits on a cold-ass lil couch n' speaks wit his hoe, AMELIA.   
  
**AMELIA  
** Take tha pizzles.   
  
**JIMMY  
** I aint sick.   
  
**AMELIA  
** Jimmy, take tha pizzles.   
  
**JIMMY  
** I know dat dis is hard ta understand yo, but his schmoooove ass chose mah dirty ass.   
  
**AMELIA  
** Castiel, tha angel?   
  
**JIMMY  
** Dat punk spoken ta me now, Ames, a thugged-out dozen times. Yo, you believe up in God, don't yo slick ass?   
  
**AMELIA  
** What kind of question is that, biatch? Of course.   
  
**JIMMY  
** And angels?   
  
**AMELIA  
** Yes, Jimmy.   
  
**JIMMY  
** So, why is it then so hard fo' you ta believe dat they poppin' off ta me son?   
  
**AMELIA  
** Jimmy, you push ad time fo' A.M. radio.   
  
**JIMMY  
** Fuck dat shit, da perved-out muthafucka holla'd dat I be special. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. It aint nuthin but up in mah blood.   
  
**AMELIA  
** What do dat mean, itz up in yo' blood, hm?   
  
**JIMMY  
** Dude didn't say yo. Dude just holla'd dat Dogg has chosen me fo' a higher purpose.   
  
**AMELIA  
** To do what?   
  
**JIMMY  
** Fuck dat shit, itz Godz will. Not straight-up mah place ta question dat shit. Yo, come here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. This be a funky-ass blessing. This is da most thugged-out blingin thang dat eva happened ta mah dirty ass.   
  
**AMELIA  
** I thought we was da most thugged-out blingin thangs ta eva happen ta you, biatch.   
  
**JIMMY  
** Yo, have faith.   
  
**AMELIA  
** Jimmy, you scarin mah dirty ass.   
  
**JIMMY  
** Dogg will provide.   
  
**AMELIA  
** If you won't take yo' pizzlez n' if you won't git help, then I be goin ta take Claire ta mah motherz up in tha morning.   
  
AMELIA leaves tha room n' goes upstairs. JIMMY gets dressed up in tha threadz dat CASTIEL wears n' leaves tha crib yo. Dude standz outside n' addresses tha sky.   
  
**JIMMY  
** So, I wanna ta help you, biatch. I be bout ta lose mah crew here if you don't tell me how tha fuck . . . Please, Castiel, just rap ta mah dirty ass. What do you want from me son?   
  
A soft light appears n' illuminates JIMMY from above. Faint whispers can be heard. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! JIMMY looks up n' appears ta be listening.   
  
**JIMMY  
** Yes, I understand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Promise mah crew is ghon be aiiight n' I be bout ta do it . . . Then, yes.   
  
A bright beam of light shines down on JIMMY yo. Dude looks up tha fuck into tha light. When tha light disappears, he is CASTIEL. CASTIEL lifts a hand n' looks at dat shit. Da front door of JIMMYz doggy den opens behind his ass n' CLAIRE strutts outside.   
  
**CLAIRE  
** Daddy?   
  
CASTIEL turns n' looks at CLAIRE yo. Dude appears briefly confused. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Then tha pimpin' muthafucka turns his back ta her again.   
  
**CASTIEL  
** I aint yo' father.   
  
CASTIEL strutts away. CLAIRE watches his ass muthafuckin bounce.   


  
PRESENT DAY

EXT. JIMMY'S HOUSE- SAME DAY

JIMMY rings tha doorbell fo' realz. AMELIA lyrics tha door.   
  
**AMELIA  
** We, uh- we stopped lookin fo' you, biatch.   
  
**JIMMY  
** I be soopa-doopa sorry bout dat bullshit.   
  
**AMELIA  
** Yo ass was dead as fuckin fried chicken. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. We, uh- we thought you was dead as fuckin fried chicken.   
  
**JIMMY  
** I be aiiight.   


  
INT. JIMMY'S HOUSE- SAME DAY

JIMMY n' AMELIA sit up in tha den. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. CLAIRE comes down tha stairs n' approaches dem wild-ass muthafuckas.   
  
**AMELIA  
** Claire. Room. Now.   
  
**JIMMY  
** Can I peep her?   
  
**AMELIA  
** No. No. I don't give a fuck yet. It aint nuthin but been almost a year, you know?   
  
**JIMMY  
** I know, I know.   
  
**AMELIA  
** Yeah. Think yo' daughta would have wanted ta know you was aiiight?   
  
**JIMMY  
** I was up in a psych clinic. I just wanted ta git mah dirty ass straight before seein you, biatch.   
  
**AMELIA  
** Oh fo' realz. And no telephones, or-?   
  
**JIMMY  
** Fuck dat shit, I know. Yo ass is right. I be- I be soopa-doopa sorry bout dat bullshit. But itz all- itz all over now, nahmeean, biatch? I mean, I be- I be straight-up aiiight.   
  
**AMELIA  
** What do dat mean?   
  
**JIMMY  
** I was- I was confused, Amelia. I was straight-up delusional. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack fo' realz. And I thought- I thought Dogg was callin me ta suttin' n' I thought dat dat shiznit was blingin, n' I was wrong. I was such a idiot yo. Heaven, hell . . . none of dat matters. Da only thang thatz blingin ta me is you n' Claire fo' realz. And I- I can't undo what tha fuck I've done. But I just wanna come home again.   
  
**AMELIA  
** I don't give a fuck if I can do dis shit. Not yet.   
  
**JIMMY  
** I mean, whatever you laid back with. Maybe we could start wit suttin' smaller?   
  
**AMELIA  
** Like what?   
  
**JIMMY  
** I don't give a gangbangin' fuck. Dinner?   


 

INT. GAS STATION- NIGHT

SAM talks on his cell beeper while DEAN standz outside, gassin up tha IMPALA.   
  
**SAM  
** Where tha hell is you, Ruby, biatch? This aint funky no mo'. I be all out. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Quit whatever you bustin. Call mah dirty ass. I need more.   


 

INT. JIMMY'S HOUSE, DINING ROOM- SAME NIGHT

CLAIRE approaches JIMMY.   
  
**CLAIRE  
** Yea muthafucka, Daddy.   
  
**JIMMY  
** Yea muthafucka, baby.   
  
CLAIRE n' JIMMY embrace fo' realz. AMELIA entas tha room wit a platta of sandwiches.   
  
**AMELIA  
** Okay, so our crazy asses have turkey n' roast beef. Betta be aiiight. It aint nuthin but all our crazy asses have.   
  
**JIMMY  
** Oh, itz fine. It aint nuthin but mo' than fine. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Should we sit?   
  
**AMELIA  
** Yeah.   
  
JIMMY, AMELIA, n' CLAIRE sit all up in tha dinin room table. JIMMY reaches fo' a sandwich.   
  
**JIMMY  
** It aint nuthin but perfect.   
  
**CLAIRE  
** Daddy, aren't you goin ta say Grace?   
  
**JIMMY  
** Fuck dat shit, honey, I don't be thinkin I am.   
  
**CLAIRE  
** Why is you crying?   
  
**JIMMY  
** Because I be horny.   
  
Da doorbell rings n' AMELIA gets up ta answer tha door.   
  
**AMELIA (O.S.)  
** Yo, Roger.   
  
**ROGER (O.S.)  
** Yo, Ames yo. How tha fuck you bustin?   
  
**AMELIA (O.S.)  
** Good.   
  
**ROGER  
** Am I wild-ass or did I just peep yo' homeboy wander up in here bout half a minute ago?   
  
**AMELIA  
** Yeah, uh, you done did. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! But, Roger, now aint a phat time.   
  
JIMMY approaches n' ROGER opens his thugged-out arms. Boy it's gettin hot, yes indeed it is. They embrace.   
  
**ROGER  
** Yo, there he is. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Son of a funky-ass biiiatch. What tha hell happened ta yo slick ass?   
  
**JIMMY**    
Ah, long story. But itz over.   
  
**ROGER**    
Yeah?   
  
**JIMMY  
** I be good.   
  
**ROGER  
** Can I rap ta yo slick ass?   
  
**AMELIA  
** Can I git you a funky-ass brew?   
  
**ROGER  
** That'd be good. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! Thanks.   
  
AMELIA leaves JIMMY n' ROGER ta drop a rhyme up in private.   
  
**ROGER  
** Buddy, you scared tha hell outta a shitload of people.   
  
**JIMMY  
** I know. I know.   
  
**ROGER  
** So straight-up, what tha fuck happened?   
  
**JIMMY  
** Honestly, most shitty year of mah game n' you wouldn't believe a word of it yo, but itz all aiiight now, nahmeean, biatch? I swear.   
  
**ROGER  
** Actually, no, itz not.   
  
**JIMMY  
** What do you mean?   
  
**ROGER  
** Well, I mean I'ma gut yo' daughta while you watch.   
  
ROGERz eyes turn black yo. Dude be a thugged-out demon. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Dude smilez n' his wild lil' fuckin eyes shift back ta aiiight just as AMELIA approaches n' handz his ass a funky-ass brew.   
  
**AMELIA  
** Here you go.   
  
While ROGER is distracted, JIMMY hits his ass over tha head wit a cold-ass lil candlestick n' then continues ta hit his ass afta dat schmoooove muthafucka has crumpled ta tha ground. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! AMELIA watches, up in shock.   
  
**AMELIA  
** What is you bustin, biatch? Jimmy, stop!   
  
**JIMMY  
** Dat punk a thugged-out demon! Run!   
  
**AMELIA  
** Quit dat shiznit son!   
  
**JIMMY  
** Run!

 


	4. Act Three

INT. JIMMY'S HOUSE, UTILITY ROOM- SAME NIGHT

JIMMY pushes AMELIA n' CLAIRE tha fuck into a utilitizzle room n' begins searchin tha shelves.   
  
**JIMMY  
** Where is it?   
  
**AMELIA  
** Roger was yo' dopest playa.   
  
**JIMMY  
** Roger was a thugged-out demon, damn dat shit.   
  
JIMMY findz a ounce ta tha bounce of salt n' pours it up in a line across tha doorway.   
  
**JIMMY (CONT'D)  
** Don't cross dis line!   
  
**AMELIA  
** Jimmy, you thought you was mo' betta yo, but yo ass is so sick.   
  
**JIMMY  
** Look, I aint crazy.   
  
**AMELIA  
** Yo ass stay tha hell away from us!   
  
**JIMMY  
** This be all hella, straight-up real.   
  
**AMELIA  
** Stay tha hell away from us!   
  
**JIMMY  
** Claire, dopeie-  
  
**AMELIA  
** No! Run. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Leave her alone, I holla'd.   
  
While JIMMY n' AMELIA struggle, CLAIRE runs outta tha utilitizzle room. JIMMY breaks free n' goes afta her muthafuckin ass.   
  
**JIMMY  
** Stay here.   
  
**AMELIA  
** Stay away from her muthafuckin ass.   
  
**JIMMY  
** Claire!   
  
JIMMY n' AMELIA run up n' tha fuck into tha dinin room, where ROGER has CLAIRE yo. Dude has a knife against CLAIREz neck.   
  
**JIMMY  
** Damn dat shit.   
  
**ROGER  
** Yo, pal. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Told you I'd gut tha biiiatch.   
  
**AMELIA  
** Roger.   
  
**CLAIRE  
** Daddy?   
  
**JIMMY  
** Just let her go, aiiight?   
  
**ROGER  
** Now, me, I would yo, but tha missus, dat freaky freaky biatch has other ideas.   
  
**AMELIA  
** No!   
  
**CLAIRE  
** Daddy!   
  
MRS. ROGER grabs JIMMY n' throws his ass ta tha ground. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Biatch punches his ass n' then looks over her shoulder n' shiznit fo' realz. AMELIA sees dat her eyes is black.   
  
**AMELIA  
** Oh, mah Dogg. No!   
  
AMELIA jumps on MRS. ROGER yo, but is thrown back. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Suddenly, DEAN appears behind ROGER n' cuts his cold-ass throat wit Rubyz knife, cappin' his muthafuckin ass. MRS. ROGER gets up yo, but is quickly caught by SAM, whoz ass stretches up his hand n' uses his thugged-out lil' psycho abilitizzles ta begin exorcisin her n' shit. DEAN looks back at SAM.   
  
**SAM  
** Go. Git dem outta here.   
  
**DEAN  
** Go, go.   
  
JIMMY n' CLAIRE flee. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM tries ta exorcise MRS. ROGER yo, but is unsuccessful naaahhmean, biatch? MRS. ROGER smilez n' approaches his muthafuckin ass.   
  
**MRS. ROGER  
** Aw. Can't git it up, can you, Sam?   
  
**DEAN  
** Fuck dat shiznit yo, but I can.   
  
Before DEAN can stab her wit Rubyz knife, tha demon flees its host body. DEAN grabs SAM n' they run up ta tha IMPALA.   
  
**DEAN  
** Come on, come on, come on, come on.   


  
EXT. JIMMY'S HOUSE- SAME NIGHT

Yo, sAM n' DEAN run up ta tha IMPALA, where JIMMY n' CLAIRE wait.   
  
**JIMMY  
** Thank god.   
  
**DEAN  
** Wherez yo' hoe?   
  
**AMELIA  
** Right here.   
  
**DEAN  
** Letz go.   
  
They ALL git tha fuck into tha IMPALA n' peel away.   


  
EXT. PARKING GARAGE- SAME NIGHT

JIMMY, DEAN, n' SAM stand outside tha IMPALA fo' realz. AMELIA n' CLAIRE sit together up in tha back seat of tha IMPALA.   
  
**JIMMY  
** Yo ass was right.   
  
**DEAN  
** I be sorry as a muthafucka we were.   
  
**JIMMY  
** I be spittin some lyrics ta you, I don't give a fuck anything.   
  
**DEAN  
** I don't be thinkin they inclined ta believe you, biatch.   
  
**SAM  
** And even if they did, you a vessel. They're still gonna wanna know what tha fuck make you tick.   
  
**DEAN  
** Which means vivisection, if they feelin generous.   
  
**SAM  
** I'ma rap once again, you puttin yo' crew up in dark shiznit n' shit. Yo ass gotta come wit us.   
  
**JIMMY  
** How tha fuck long, biatch? And don't give me dat "cross dat bridge when we git ta it" crap.   
  
**SAM  
** Don't you git it, biatch? Forever n' shit. Da demons aint NEVER gonna stop. Yo ass can never be wit yo' crew. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So you either git as far away from dem as possible or you put a funky-ass cap up in yo' head. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! And thatz how tha fuck you keep yo' crew safe. But there be a no gettin up n' there be a no goin home.   
  
**DEAN  
** Well, don't sugarcoat it, Sam.   
  
**SAM  
** I be just spittin some lyrics ta his ass tha real deal, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Someone has to.   
  
JIMMY opens tha back door of tha IMPALA ta drop a rhyme ta AMELIA. CLAIRE be asleep next ta her muthafuckin ass.   
  
**AMELIA  
** Hey. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So I pretty much owe you tha freshest apologizzle eva.   
  
**JIMMY  
** Fuck dat shit, you don't.   
  
**AMELIA  
** Yes, I do. I be soopa-doopa sorry, Jizzy fo' realz. And I'ma never, eva forgive mah dirty ass fo' lettin you strutt up dat door.   
  
**JIMMY  
** Well, you did what tha fuck any rationizzle thug would have done. I mean, hell, I thought I was wild-ass half tha time.   
  
**AMELIA  
** So demons, huh?   
  
**JIMMY  
** Yeah.   
  
**AMELIA  
** Can we . . . , biatch? Can we even bounce back ta tha doggy den, or . . . , biatch? What is we gonna do?   
  
**JIMMY  
** These thugs is gonna git you a cold-ass lil car, don't ask me how, n' you gonna take Claire ta Carl n' Sallyz as fast as you can.   
  
**AMELIA  
** Wait. What bout yo slick ass, biatch? . . . Fuck dat shit, I aint goin anywhere without you, Jimmy.   
  
**JIMMY  
** Listen ta mah dirty ass. Every moment dat I be wit you, you n' Claire is up in danger.   
  
**AMELIA  
** I couldn't give a fuckin shit. Our asses aint splittin up again.   
  
**JIMMY  
** Us dudes aint gots a cold-ass lil chizzle.   
  
**AMELIA  
** For how tha fuck long?   
  
**JIMMY  
** We bout ta cross dat bridge when we git ta dat shit.   
  
**AMELIA  
** We a cold-ass lil crew.   
  
**JIMMY  
** They will bust a cap up in you, Amelia, n' they'll bust a cap up in Claire. Yo ass just gotta git as far away from me as you can.   
  
JIMMY n' AMELIA embrace while DEAN watches. Da scene shifts n' SAM is hotwirin a cold-ass lil hoopty while AMELIA waits, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. JIMMY n' CLAIRE stand next ta each other.   
  
**SAM  
** Okay, so, uh, herez yo' car.   
  
**JIMMY  
** Hey. Take care of yo' mom, aiiight, bub?   
  
**CLAIRE  
** Okay.   
  
JIMMY gets up in tha back seat of tha IMPALA n' DEAN n' SAM git up in tha front. They drive away while AMELIA n' CLAIRE watch.   
  
**CLAIRE  
** Why is he leavin again?   
  
AMELIA turns ta CLAIRE n' slaps her face. CLAIRE screams n' AMELIAz eyes turn black. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch be a thugged-out demon.   
  
**AMELIA  
** Because itz just not mah day, is it, biatch? Yo ass lil biiiatch.   


  
INT. IMPALA- SAME NIGHT

It aint nuthin but drizzlin as DEAN drives. JIMMY be asleep up in tha back seat.   
  
**DEAN  
** What tha hell happened back there?   
  
**SAM  
** What?   
  
**DEAN  
** Yo ass practically fainted tryin ta gank a thugged-out demon.   
  
**SAM  
** Okay, I didn't faint. I gots a lil dizzy.   
  
**DEAN  
** Well, you can call it whatever you want. Point is, you used ta be phat enough ta bust a cap up in Alastair. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Now you can't even bust a cap up in a stunt-demon number three?   
  
**SAM  
** What do you want me ta say bout it, Dean?   
  
**DEAN  
** Well fo' starters, what tha fuck be happenin wit yo' mojo, biatch? I mean, itz yo-yoin all over tha place. I aint tryin ta pick a gangbangin' fight here, aiiight, biatch? I just- you scarin me, man.   
  
**SAM  
** I be scarin mah dirty ass.   
  
SAMz cellphone rings n' he lyrics dat shit.   
  
**SAM (CONT'D)  
** Hello, biatch? . . . Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck is this?   
  
SAM turns n' holdz tha beeper up ta JIMMY.   
  
**SAM (CONT'D)  
** Hey. It aint nuthin but yo' hoe.   
  
JIMMY wakes up n' takes tha beeper from SAM.   
  
**JIMMY  
** Amelia, biatch? . . . Oh, mah Dogg.

 


	5. Act Four

EXT. WAREHOUSE- SAME NIGHT

JIMMY, DEAN, n' SAM git outta tha IMPALA.   
  
**DEAN  
** Alright, they expectin you ta come ridin' solo. Thatz exactly what tha fuck you gonna do.   
  
**SAM  
** We bout ta work our way all up in tha catwalks. We bout ta be right behind you, biatch.   
  
**DEAN  
** All you gotta do is stay calm n' stall. Let our asses do our thang.   
  
**JIMMY  
** Yo ass want me ta stay calm, biatch? This is mah crew we poppin' off about.   
  
**DEAN  
** Listen ta me, dis will work. Yo ass understand, biatch? Nobodyz gonna git hurt.   
  
**JIMMY  
** Yeah, whatever n' shit. Give me a minute, aiiight?   
  
JIMMY strutts away from DEAN n' SAM, towardz tha warehouse.   
  
**SAM  
** Therez no way they expectin his ass ta come alone, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Yo ass know dis is probably a trap.   
  
**DEAN**  
Yeah, I know. Thatz why I gots a plan.   


  
EXT. WAREHOUSE- SAME NIGHT

JIMMY strutts towardz tha warehouse, shoutin all up in tha sky.   
  
**JIMMY  
** Castiel, you lil hustla of a funky-ass biiiatch! Yo ass promised mah crazy ass mah crew would be aiiight. Yo ass promised you was gonna take care of dem wild-ass muthafuckas. I gave you every last muthafuckin thang you axed mah crazy ass ta give. I gave you mo' n' mo' n' mo'. This is tha props I get, biatch? This is what tha fuck you do, biatch? This is yo' heaven, biatch? Help me,. Biiiatch please.Yo ass promised, Cas. Just help mah dirty ass.   
  
No Muthafucka lyrics n' JIMMY shakes his head.   
  
**JIMMY (CONT'D)  
** Typical.   
  
JIMMY entas tha warehouse fo' realz. AMELIA standz next ta CLAIRE, whoz ass is tied ta a cold-ass lil chair n' unconscious.   
  
**AMELIA  
** Yea muthafucka, honey. Yo ass is home.   
  
**JIMMY  
** Listen, I be- I be beggin you here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Yo ass do whatever you want wit me yo, but mah hoe n' daughter, they just- they not a part of this.   
  
**AMELIA  
** Oh, they a funky-ass big-ass part of this, Jizzy fo' realz. And P.S. Yo ass should've come ridin' solo.   
  
**JIMMY  
** I be ridin' solo.   
  
**AMELIA  
** Oh, you such a liar. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Like I didn't be thinkin you'd brang Heckle n' Jeckle, hmm?   
  
SAM n' DEAN is hustled tha fuck into tha room by three DEMONs whoz ass hold dem prisoner.   
  
**SAM  
** Sick plan, Dean.   
  
**DEAN  
** Yeah, well, no muthafucka bats 1,000.   
  
**AMELIA  
** Got tha knife?   
  
One of tha DEMONs holdin SAM holdz up Rubyz knife ta show her muthafuckin ass.   
  
**AMELIA (CONT'D)  
** And you know whatz funky?   
  
**DEAN  
** Yo ass bustin a soccer mom?   
  
**AMELIA  
** Is I was straight-up bummed ta git dis detail, pickin up a empty vessel. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sort of like a gin n juice run. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Now look whoz ass landed up in mah lap.   
  
**SAM  
** Yeah, well, you gots us, aiiight, biatch? Let these playas go.   
  
**AMELIA  
** Oh, Sam. It aint nuthin but easy as fuck ta act chivalrous when yo' Wonder Girl powers aren't working, huh, biatch? Now fo' tha punch line. All Y'all dies.   
  
AMELIA holdz up a glock n' blasts JIMMY up in tha gut yo. Dude falls ta his knees fo' realz. AMELIA turns ta one of tha DEMONs holdin SAM.   
  
**AMELIA (CONT'D)  
** Waste Little Orphan Annie.   
  
AMELIA leaves tha room while tha DEMON strutts round JIMMY n' towardz CLAIRE, whoz ass is still tied ta a cold-ass lil chair n' unconscious. Da DEMON picks up a pipe n' swings it towardz CLAIRE yo, but her big-ass booty suddenly grabs tha pipe up in one hand n' places tha other hand on tha DEMONz forehead. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da DEMON screams as he is exorcised up in a funky-ass bright light. Usin tha distraction, SAM n' DEAN turn on tha DEMONs holdin dem wild-ass muthafuckas. While they struggle, CLAIRE, whoz ass is now possessed by CASTIEL, burns away tha ropes holdin her n' shit. JIMMY lies on tha ground, bleeding, n' looks at her up in horror.   
  
**JIMMY  
** Castiel.   
  
SAM n' DEAN continue ta fight tha DEMONs. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM gets Rubyz knife back from tha biatch DEMON n' holdz her down, starin at her neck. DEAN is bein pummeled by tha thug DEMON, when CASTIEL approaches n' places her hand on his head, exorcisin his muthafuckin ass. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM cuts tha neck of tha biatch DEMON n' dranks her blood. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! Dude turns, grill still bloody, ta peep DEAN n' CASTIEL (still up in CLAIREz body) watchin his ass up in horror. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM turns back n' stabs tha demon all up in tha ass wit Rubyz knife, cappin' her, n' then turns towardz DEAN n' CASTIEL again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Dude standz n' holdz up his hand, just up in time ta catch AMELIA n' exorcise her wit his bangin recharged psycho powers. DEAN holdz AMELIA up n' CASTIEL goes over ta JIMMY, whoz ass is dyin from his wild lil' freakadelic gunshot wound.   
  
**CASTIEL  
** Of course we keep our promises. Of course you have our gratitude. Yo ass served our asses well. Yo crazy-ass work is done. It aint nuthin but time ta bounce back ta tha doggy den now, nahmeean, biatch? Yo crazy-ass real home. You'll rest forever up in tha fieldz of tha Lord. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Rest now, Jimmy.   
  
**JIMMY  
** No. Claire?   
  
**CASTIEL  
** Dat hoe wit me now, nahmeean, biatch? Dat hoe chosen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. It aint nuthin but up in her blood, as dat shiznit was up in yours.   
  
**JIMMY  
** Please, Castiel. Me, just take mah dirty ass. Take me, please.   
  
DEAN, SAM, n' AMELIA approach yo, but hold back when they peep CASTIEL (still up in CLAIREz body) n' JIMMY rappin'.   
  
**CASTIEL  
** I wanna make shizzle you understand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Yo ass won't take a thugged-out dirtnap or age. If dis last year was fucked up fo' you, picture a hundred, a thousand mo' like dat shit.   
  
**JIMMY  
** It don't matter n' shit. Yo ass take mah dirty ass. Just take mah dirty ass.   
  
**CASTIEL  
** As you wish.   
  
CASTIEL touches JIMMY'S grill n' a funky-ass bright light emanates from his wild lil' fuckin eyes n' grill. CLAIRE drops ta her handz n' knees, n' CASTIEL, now up in JIMMYz body, standz up yo. Dude strutts past AMELIA n' standz next ta SAM n' DEAN fo' realz. AMELIA runs ta CLAIRE n' embraces her n' shiznit fo' realz. AMELIA n' CASTIELz eyes meet, n' then tha pimpin' muthafucka turns ta bounce tha fuck out.   
  
**DEAN  
** Cas, hold up. What was you gonna tell me son?   
  
**CASTIEL**  
I hustled mah lesson while I was away, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I serve heaven, I don't serve dude, n' I certainly don't serve you, biatch.   
  
CASTIEL strutts away while DEAN n' SAM watch.

 

 


	6. Act Five

INT. IMPALA- SAME NIGHT

DEAN drives all up in tha drizzle up in silence.   
  
**SAM**    
All right, letz hear dat shit.   
  
**DEAN**    
What?   
  
**SAM**    
Drop tha bomb, man. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Yo ass saw what tha fuck I done did. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Come on, stop tha car, take a swing.   
  
**DEAN**    
I aint gonna take a swing.   
  
**SAM**    
Then scream, chew me out.   
  
**DEAN**    
I aint mad, Sam.   
  
**SAM  
** Come on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Yo ass aint mad?   
  
**DEAN  
** Nope.   
  
**SAM  
** Right. Look, at least let me explain mah dirty ass.   
  
**DEAN  
** Don't. I couldn't give a fuckin shit.   
  
**SAM  
** Yo ass couldn't give a fuckin shit?   
  
**DEAN  
** What do you want me ta say, dat I be pissed tha fuck off, biatch? Yeah, I am. But, mostly, I be just tired, man. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I be done. I be just done.   
  
SAMz cellphone rings yo. Dude lyrics dat shit.   
  
**SAM  
** Yo, Bobby.   
  
We peep BOBBY leavin tha panic room, a funky-ass bed set up behind his muthafuckin ass.   
  
**BOBBY  
** Yo, you n' yo' brutha betta shag ass ta mah place ASAP.   
  
**SAM  
** Whatz goin on?   
  
**BOBBY  
** Da apocalypse, smart-ass . Now git yo' asses over here.   
  
SAM hangs up his thugged-out lil' phone.   
  
**DEAN**  
What'd da perved-out muthafucka say?   


  
INT. BOBBY'S HOUSE ��" NIGHT

BOBBY, SAM, n' DEAN approach tha door ta tha panic room.   
  
**BOBBY  
** Well, props fo' bobbin a tail.   
  
**DEAN  
** Yeah, you gots dat shit.   
  
SAM opens tha door.   
  
**BOBBY  
** Go on inside. I wanna show you something.   
  
SAM strutts tha fuck into tha panic room while DEAN n' BOBBY hang back.   
  
**SAM  
** All right. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So, uh, whatz tha big-ass demon problem?   
  
**BOBBY  
** Yo ass are. This is fo' yo' own good.   
  
DEAN n' BOBBY close n' lock tha door, n' SAM strutts ta tha barred window.   
  
**SAM  
** Guys, biatch? Yo, hey. What?   
  
BOBBY closes n' latches tha window.   
  
**SAM (CONT'D)**  
This aint funky. Guys muthafucka! Yo dawwwwg! Guys?   
  
  
FADE TO BLACK.

 


End file.
